Oh, and the Rams. Hey, they’re still in St. Louis. At least, that’s what league sources are telling us.

This cornucopia of local athletic excellence means one thing: an evolution of weirdo fans.

It’s a proven fact: when subjects on the field succeed, their counterparts off the field raise their game exponentially.  Higher levels of intoxication, more egregious costumes, increased willingness to be photographed.  Thankfully, our dedicated staff of fan hunters were there throughout the year to capture the action.

And thus, we present our Top Twenty-Five from 2011.

—–

#25: Albert Pujols Cubs Fan

We begin with this fan because he helped set the tone for arguably the biggest St. Louis sports story of 2011.  Namely, that Albert Pujols wasn’t going to be a member of the Cardinals forever.  While Pujols didn’t end up in the Windy City, it set mood of perpetual nervousness and bittersweet success in St. Louis.

—–

#24: The Pujols Family

Just to be clear: our fan hunters raised their game this year.  It’s no longer about finding the most inebriated monkey in any given stadium.  Okay, fine.  It’s still about that….but our staff is getting more creative; more artsy.  Here’s a photo that is pure ingenuity, especially knowing what we know now.  Anyone from the Cardinals ticket office that tells you that they’re not concerned about the departure of Albert Pujols is lying to your face.

Something tells us that Christmas dinner at this household was a little somber this holiday season.

—–

#23: 10 (er, um 11) World Championships!!!

Before the eventual loss of that one Latino first-baseman, the Cardinals beat historically-insurmountable odds to not only reach the postseason, but win it.  Needless to say, no one thought that 2011 would be the year that the Cardinals won their franchise’s 11th World Championship.  Especially the clown below.  But hey, that’s nothing a little electrical tape from the garage can’t solve.  Boom.  11 World Championships now, kids.  Bet you didn’t even notice.  If a surrounding inhabitant suddenly needs to wrap and insulate a frayed power cord, this guy will have a serious decision on his hands.  Assist or keep his handiwork in tact.  Tough call.

We apologize for the graininess of the photo.  We send our fan hunters into the harshest condition to deliver you the madness.

—–

#22: Red Suit “Man”

Our fan hunters didn’t invest the necessary research to determine the gender of this fan, but he/she/it caught our cameras before Game 6 of the World Series. Shim makes this particular list specifically because we think that stuffing a pair of eyeglasses underneath a suit that is supposed to be razor-smooth is comical. The only thing more humorous would have been eyeglasses strapped to the outside of the costume.

—–

#21: Fear the RED DOG

It’s nice to see that the Number 69 is still a viable jersey option in 2011.  And here we thought its hilarity intersected for a brief moment in history with “Beavis and Butthead” and “Billy Madison.”  Apparently, we were wrong.  It’s still hilarious.  At least it is to a local hooligan who goes as “RED DOG”.  Our sources could not confirm nor deny that this was actually Mark McGwire, but one thing is for sure, fear was struck in the eyes of a Busch Stadium attendant one early morning in April.

—–

#20: PARTY MARTY

Football hooligans often use personalized jerseys as a billboard to show how they’re the life of the party. This is certainly true for PARTY MARTY, who not only has a personalized jersey with his (self-appointed) nickname on the back, but an inscribed hat with the same moniker.  True fan.  Oh, and of course, he’s assigned himself the number one.  Party Marty is also waiting to pay $20 for a photograph with Kyle Turley.

We desperately long for a wrestling match between Party Marty and REDDOG.  Chairs, pipes, biting, whatever.

—–

#19: You Are Sooooooo Taguchi

If you’re blowing money on a #99 jersey that doesn’t involve Rick Vaughn, there’s no reason to ignore a joke that approximately 89% of Cardinals fans broke out at some point or another during Soooooo Taguchi’s career in St. Louis.

—–

18: Scott Rolen Hater

Typically, duct tape on a jersey involves modifying an old player’s name to satisfy the current jersey number inhabitant.  While it’s highly irreverent to the old player, it’s also a swift kick to the ego of the new player that the modified jersey exhibits.  You know, since said “new player” isn’t worthy enough (yet) to merit the purchasing of a real jersey.

Sitting on the third-base line with the Cincinnati Reds and Scott Rolen in September, the gentleman below brought the heat.  He didn’t leverage duct tape to sport a makeshift Tyler Greene or Ron Villone jersey (the only two Cardinal players to wear #27 since Rolen’s departure).  No, sir.  He went old school, so as to tell the former Cardinals All-Star that he always preferred Todd Zeile’s tenure in St. Louis.  Todd Zeile is THE #27, Mr. Rolen.  Not you.  Brilliance.

—–

#17: Jesus is #1

The excitement at the Cardinals World Series Parade reached a critical mass. Local fans have been waiting a lifetime for an event of this magnitude. That is, fans under the age of five. Hey-oooo!! Chicago Cubs fan zing. Anyway, we’re not big fans of religious activists because they’re usually looking for trouble, but this fan sign is just tremendous. Our scouts tell us Jesus had one heck of a curveball.

—–

#16: The Least Creative Blues Jersey Ever

Due an undying affinity to poke fun at hooligans and buffoons (especially at hockey game), we tend to overlook jerseys that are simplistically stupid. That is, until we noticed the following fellow nitwit at Scottrade Center in October.

The last name: BLUES. The number: um, one. You know, because the Blues are #1. Or #5 in the Western Conference. But hey, that’s a little long to fit on a jersey nameplate.  We deduct more points for violating the sanctity of #1.  On the hockey side, that’s reserved for Pat Jablonski and Pat Jablonski only.

—–

#15: Bleacher Bum Art

A shirtless man…with a skullet…sitting in the last row of the Busch Stadium bleachers….slugging a Budweiser…wrapped in a brought-from-home bottle koozie?  You know, not all of our favorite fan photos feature a crazed lunatic in a ridiculous jersey.  Oh, no.  This one should be classified as “art.”  Poster-sized prints on canvas should be made available immediately.  Hang this sucker above the fireplace.

—–

#14: Another La Russa Sobriety Fan

Arguably, the most infamous fan jersey we’ve posted at JoeSportsFan.com is the LARUSSA #.093 jersey that was captured at Busch Stadium in 2007 a few weeks after the Cardinals skipper was dinged for a DUI in Spring Training. The jersey accumulated quite a few laughs at the time, but granted, the news was fresh. More than four years later, another fan at Busch Stadium apparently believes the joke still has legs.

—–

#13: Fredbird’s biggest fan

We’re big fans of mullets because they typically reside on Bon Jovi roadies, carnival ride operators and St. Louis sports fans.  All unintentionally-hilarious individuals.  Now, this  hairdo is usually accompanied with a bold attitude.  Thus, when we see a party-in-the-back touching the shoulders of a Cardinals jersey, we expect it to complement the edgy disposition.  Fredbird?  Pardon our pun, but he’s the softest creature in the stadium.

This jersey is extra offensive since Fredbird doesn’t wear the Number One, or any number for that matter.  Besides, the Number One is retired and unavailable.  It belongs to Ozzie, not some grown man dressed as a bird.

—–

#12: Dave, bro. Dave.

2011 saw U2 playing live on the field of Busch Stadium in mid-July. But let us not forgot those that have come before Bono and the boys. The gentleman below certainly hasn’t. Although, we may be jumping to conclusions here. The rationalist in us postulates that this guy bought a personalized Dave Matthews Band jersey when they came to Busch Stadium in 2008. DMB + Busch Stadium = Cardinals jersey. Then again, who the hell knows. One thing is for sure, this guy really likes the Dave Matthews Band and the song “#41“.

Or maybe his initials are “DMB” and he really likes Mitchell Boggs. Either way, we’re guessing this guy would challenge you to a timed keg-stand immediately.

—–

#11: Joe Namath Rams Fan

The Cardinals World Series parade brought fanatics out of the woodwork. The levels of obscurity were almost tough to comprehend. We saw a Spiezio jersey. A Joe Mather. Heck, even a Tom Brunanski. But the most random jersey we saw wasn’t a Cardinals jersey at all.  It was a Joe Namath Rams jersey.  A Joe Namath Rams jersey at a St. Louis Cardinals World Series parade. Yikes. Namath played one season (of thirteen) for the LOS ANGELES Rams.  Joe Namath is a New York Jet.  Period.

That’s like wearing a Tino Martinez Cardinals jersey to a New York Giants Super Bowl parade.

—–

#10: Louie’s Number One Fan

Generally speaking, mascots scare the bejesus out of us.  They’re overly animated, abrasive and rarely wear pants.  That behavior outside of a fur suit will land you a night in the slammer.  Nevertheless, we accept that kids love mascots.  Photographs, high-fives, hugs: all acceptable.  A personalized jersey: yeah, a little bizarre.  This particular mascot jersey beats FREDBIRD at #13 on our rankings because it’s complemented by a signature from that mascot.

It’s even MORE bizarre when said fan is accompanied by a man wearing a replica jersey from TJ Oshie’s COLLEGE career at North Dakota.

—–

#9: Four Twenty

Not to be outdone by the Dave Matthews Band bro above, this renaissance man explicitly announced to the world “I like marijuana” through a customized Cardinals jersey. Interesting. Also interesting: there’s about a 92% chance that this is actually Jeff Weaver.

—–

#8: Ole Rust

There’s only one event that can match the weirdos per capita of a Cardinals World Series Parade: the annual Winter Warm-up. With Busch Stadium sitting dormant in the January frost, Winter Warm-up is tremendous opportunity for fans to show their support for the home team.  Since fans won’t break out their Cardinals gear for another for three months, they tend to go a little nutty. That is, with their attire.  Or, in Rust’s case, with their hairdos.

Added weirdo bonus: the last player to wear #73: Ricardo Rincon.  But we’re guessing #73 is an homage to Rust’s high rank in World of Warcraft.

—–

#7: Bradford Duct Tape

Despite a mediocre ’11 season bridled with injuries, there was significant hype surrounding Sam Bradford’s rookie season as the Rams quarterback. He led the Rams to a 7-9 record, smiled a lot and signed a big contract to endorse Charter before his team played their first game in 2011. But some fans weren’t totally convinced. At least, not enough to fork over $100 bucks for a Sam Bradford jersey. Instead, this woman turned an old Torry Holt jersey into a Sam Bradford jersey with a little assistance from a trusty roll of duct tape.

Is there anything duct tape can’t do (except hold together the Rams offensive line, of course)?

—–

#6: Paul Kariya Blues/Ducks Fan

The St. Louis Blues have delivered some excitement this season. Given the past few season of over-promising, most fans and media had their doubts. Veteran leadership crumbled. Young talent faltered and was injured frequently. Fans were looking for a player to embrace in 2011.  And what better player to embrace than one that announced his retirement before the Blues season even began this year.

And heck, because his time in St. Louis was subpar, you sure as hell better split that jersey down the middle to support said player’s time with a franchise named after a Disney movie.

—–

#5: YOUR NAME

Generic team jerseys exist in every baseball merchandise shop across the country. Likewise, on graphical advertisements at MLB online outlets. They exist as a call-to-action; to let fans know that personalization is an option. But we’ve never seen these jerseys in the wild. That is, before this year. We suppose the real loser here is the store-front mannequin that stood momentarily naked in some merchandise store.

—–

#4: ANGEL #69

Needless to say, the St. Louis Rams didn’t live up to expectations in 2011. Ironically, that failure is impressive considering it’s hard to have any expectations following a 1-15 and a 7-9 season. Nevertheless, a pre-season pep rally is a time for fans to show up and celebrate a clean slate. A rebirth of optimism, if you will.  Apparently, it’s also time to proudly display your “Angel #69″ jersey.  With kids.  Classy.

And who says #69 jerseys are for overweight fraternity meatheads?  This woman is real activist.  The Number 69 is a unisex jersey option.

—–

#3: Hull and Oates, Together Again

Brett Hull and Adam Oates are synonymous in St. Louis. They go together like Busch Stadium and the Clydesdales or Fox Sports Midwest and toupees. Needless to say, when we saw a man wearing a HULL jersey and a woman wearing an OATES jersey, our heart skipped a beat. True love is possible these days, kids.

—–

#2: BUTJOLS

Yes yes, the jersey is combination of Kansas City’s “BUTLER” and St. Louis’ “PUJOLS” and describes something of the nether region.  Hilarious.  But seriously, the patchwork.  It looks like this guy constructed this product with a Swiss Army knife and a few safety pins.  The two MLB logos on the collar are a nice touch.

More importantly, we’d like to point out that this gentleman appears to be an otherwise upstanding citizen (minus the jersey and all).  His hair is trimmed and his jersey is belted tightly into a pair of khakis.  We love raw meatheads, but this juxtaposition of normal/abnormal is fascinating.  Let’s say he’s an otherwise regular dude.  Regular dudes have jobs, and thus, bosses.  Let’s say Regular Dude takes a trip to the urinal and runs into said boss at the concession stand.  How does that discussion go?  What if boss is with spouse?  How does that introduction go?  Is this event noted on Regular Dude’s annual review?  These are the things we think about at night.

—–

#1: Chris Sabo Cardinals Fan

We’ve seen just about every jersey out there. The retro, the personal, the obscene. And the really obscene.  Lately, our preference is with the obscure.  Really obscure.  As such, we’re often asked what obscure Cardinals jersey has eluded our fan hunters.

The answer is simple: Chris Sabo.

Sure, his career in St. Louis only spanned a few games, but the man is a cult hero and we were proud to call him one of our own for a brief period in baseball history. Thus, you can imagine our amazement when a (St. Louis) Chris Sabo fan….with complementary REC SPECS…wandered in front of our lens this summer. Our bucket list got a little thinner that day.

—–

We’re going to comply with this internet mandate and provide a one-stop-shop for some of our best Photoshop cartoons from the past twelve months.  There’s no particular order below.  Some were the most-viewed, some were the most-bizarre.  Okay, fine.  They’ll all pretty damn bizarre.

—–

Even before the Cardinals negotiations with Albert Pujols halted in Spring Training, things weren’t pointing in a positive direction.  With most baseball news sitting dormant in January of 2011, Albert Pujols re-branded himself and his personal website.  The resulting logo featured many similar aspects of another hero that left his home town in the dust.

—–

One word become synonymous with the 2011 St. Louis sports year: Albertageddon.  Origins date back to the first week of Spring Training in March and a word with that much passion and intrigue needed a movie poster to highlight some of the key players.

And, you see, St. Louis.  We didn’t die.

Just like Ben Affleck; he survived.

—–

Following the first round of Albert Pujols negotiations/dryhump, we put together a collection of our favorite Pujols fans for a festive Opening Day desktop wallpaper.

Perhaps the biggest surprise in the whole Pujols/Anaheim thing is that, somehow, all of these jerseys are even more ridiculous than they were in March.  We’re not sure how that’s possible.

—–

Former Cardinals, um, “pitcher”, Mark Mulder joined the ESPN “Baseball Tonight” staff as Spring Training drew to a close.  By all accounts, he’s a tremendous addition to their team, however, we’re told that ESPN’s budget for ice and compression sleeves went up 550% since he joined.

—–

With a new rotation of crappy local commercials for the new Cardinals season on Fox Sports Midwest, we bid farewell to some familiar favorites.  This included the Sonic commercial featuring Rick Horton and future World Series MVP David Freese.

Even though the commercial sits dormant, Ricky still gets a kick out of Fredbird.

—–

With Nick Punto, Skip Schumaker, Ryan Theriot, Daniel Descalso and approximately fifteen other small white guys that visited the Cardinals roster throughout the year, we introduced official “Scrap-e-grams”.  Scrap-e-grams should be printed out (on recycled paper, obviously) are given out to fellow friends and family that have demonstrated hard work and courage in the face of adversity.

More scrap-e-grams here, here and here.

—–

The annual series against the Kansas City Royals is always a blast because it provides a legitimate excuse to make a plethora of 1985 references.  Mixed with a solid reference to “Oregon Trail“, this was one of our favorites this season.

—–

References to the 1985 Cardinals usually involve screen caps from the epic “Heck of Year”.  A real piece of cinematic brilliance, there.  We’ve seen the film over 1000 times, but we don’t remember Jack Clark saying that.  Hmm, guess we’ll have to watch it again.  And again.

—–

Fact: when Albert Pujols trots home after a game-winning blast, he imagines being surrounded by 24 other Albert Pujolses (we’re not sure if that’s the correct plural form of “Pujols”, but we’re running with it).

—–

Being a sports journalist is tough work.  It takes patience, dedication and an eye for detail.  Derrick Goold is one of the best in the business and demonstrated his unparalleled chameleon abilities during a mid-June clubhouse interview Matt Holliday.

—–

This season we also introduced “Hybrid Cardinals Baseball Cards”.  Yeah, things got a little weird this year.  Nevertheless, the collection included a mash-up of Skip Schumaker and Mark McGwire – which unlocked the inspiration for 1987′s film “Harry and the Henderson”.

More hybrid baseball cards here, here, here and here.

—–

Franky, this one needs very little introduction.

—–

Yadier Molina went a little nutty in an August game against the Milwaukee Brewers.  The nuttiness featured Molina yelling/spitting in the face of umpire Rob Drake in the 10th inning and resulted in an eventual suspension for the Cardinals catcher.

Spit + baseball + over-reactions + “guy named Drake” = a Seinfeld inspired Photoshop.

—–

August 22nd was Matt Holliday Bobblehead Day at Busch Stadium.  Like most Bobbleheads, it looked nothing like its human counterpart and left something to be desired.   We conceptualized what it should have looked like.

A updated copy of this graphic would inevitably include a moth in Holliday’s right ear.  And probably another Creed reference.

—–

“Beast Mode” became the mantra of the 2011 Milwaukee Brewers.  Even before the Cardinals extinguished them from the 2011 playoffs, we outed this slogan as fraudulent.  Hey, it’s what we do.  Other writers around town are breaking news about contracts, trades and injuries.  Our efforts are in demonstrating phony Pixar movie references.  Everyone has their place in this industry.

—–

The World Series provided its own highlight reel of memories, but we need not forget about the six-game NLCS against the Milwaukee Brewers – which was filled with the most postseason hatred since 1987′s series against Jeffrey Leonard and the San Francisco Giants.

When it ended, Yadier Molina provided us with a photo that simply could not be left untouched.

—–

Our favorite thing about football season in St. Louis is Tony Softli, an analyst for 101 ESPN.  He’s also the former VP of Player Personnel with the Rams, but frankly, we enjoyed him in “Toy Story 2″ the most.

—–

Following the Cardinals 11th World Series in franchise history, the rumor mill heated up (again) regarding Albert Pujols’ contract status.  As it turns out, no one really knew anything until the Angels entered the bidding roughly 24 hours before signing Pujols.  Before that, it was a cornucopia of heresy and speculation.

To make the “news” a little less nauseating, we created an exclusive BINGO card.  Unfortunately, there were no winners.  We were all losers through this mess.

—–

So, the St. Louis Rams.  What can you say about a franchise that has gone 9-37 the past three seasons?  As it turns out, not much – which is why we created the following motivational poster.

—–

Albert Pujols’ departure was tough on a lot of people, but no more than Yadier Molina.  As a touching parting gift that left several clubhouse observers in tears, Molina presented Pujols with this special gift.

Hand-made sentiments are always the best.  Especially when they’re made with bubble paint.

—–

Albert Pujols career in St. Louis will forever be remembered for two World Championships, three National League MVP trophies and a countless number of Jose Oquendo stop signs ignored.

—–

When we asked him to provide the first Google Image that he has in his back pocket for “philadelphia fan” and “cardinals fan”, respectively, here’s what he showed us.

Brilliance, Google.  You are stunningly accurate.

—–

Now, let’s see what Google has to say about Cliff Lee, Philadelphia’s starter on Sunday night.  By all accounts, Cliff Lee is a nice guy who seems courteous and professional.  Our friend Google provided a much different stigma.

—–

Chris Carpenter vs. Cliff Lee is the type of pitching match-up you would expect in October baseball.  Given the photo below, we would expect nothing less.  Although the Cardinals pulled off a pleasing victory on Sunday night, Carpenter got off to a rough start last night.  We could’ve guessed that.  In a comparison of old men wearing their respective jerseys, the Cliff Lee guy totally dominates the Chris Carpenter guy.

He’s wearing a jerseys AND ball pants.  Domination.

—-

Since the point of this column is to describe local sporting event with very little words, we’re going to let the gentlemen below portray the emotion that ran through Philadelphia after the Cardinals evened the NLDS at 1-1 as the series heads back to St. Louis.

He looks like a very nice gentleman.

We’re told he only slings batteries at people he knows.  Hitting complete strangers with D-cells is sooo 2005 in Philadelphia.

—–

The Cardinals and Phillies have at least ONE team from the East Coast, so surely we see the national media giving this series some attention after an exciting game, right?

Meh, guess again.

—–

Legit rivalries have high amounts of love and hatred.  Appreciation and degradation.  We’re beginning to enjoy this Philadelphia/St. Louis match-up and we would love to see it turn into a legit rivalry.

Both cities have an affinity for Ryan Howard and both cities loathe the man below.  Rivalry.

—–

WR Mike Sims-Walker had himself a doozy of a game on Sunday.  That is, if your fantasy league awards points for dropped passes.  Sims-Walker muffed three in the first-half alone.  Following the loss, Sims-Walker tweeted the following – which is ironic considering his Twitter avatar features himself catching a ball.

The irony is a little too much to handle.

—–

A picture says many things.  Here, Sam Bradford looks bewildered as FOX shows a disgusting graphic that illustrates how atrocious the Rams OL has become.  Oh, and OC Josh McDaniels is picking his nose.

Yes, sometimes a picture can tell it all.

—–

SAM-WICH!!!!

—–

Wait, what?

Admittedly, St. Louis isn’t like a lot of other cities. We like provel cheese, Budweiser, and jean shorts a little too much. And sure, we like football, but baseball is kinda our thing. In fact, we’re kinda the best baseball fans on the planet. Check that, universe. We can all but guarantee other galaxies don’t appreciate scrappy, white infielders like we do in the Gateway to the West.

All that said, we require a little assistance cheering on our gridiron heroes. Thankfully, the Rams provided some assistance in Week One – in the form of a video tutorial explaining how, why and when to cheer during football games. Extremely helpful. But we believe that they omitted a few “rules”.

That’s why we present rules 6-10.

Starring: Matt Sebek (via), Josh Bacott (via), Chris Files (via), Mike Flynn (via), and one of the ladies from the original video (she thinks we’re a little off our rocker).

Special thanks: watermelon.

Ram Rules (Round Two)

The Original Ram Rules video

Namely, the celebration that followed Michael Boley’s fumble recovery touchdown for the Giants in the second quarter

Sure, the touchdown occurred against the Rams…but if our home team is only going to get in the end zone once a game, we have to take what we can get.

Oh, the poor soul with the backpack.  He stood with an aura of confidence and enthusiasm; getting this close to the honorable “Monday Night Football” is rare.  After career struggles over the past decade, he knows that.  This is really something.  And then, plunk.  Caught off guard; beaned in the coconut by a presence of athletic prowess that is insurmountable to his inferior stature.

He transcends time.  His struggle is our struggle.

He is Rams fan.

—–

—–

Back in late-March, we knew it was the start of Cardinals season when this happened.  On Sunday, we knew it was the start of football season when we witnessed a LAURINAITIS #55 jersey tucked into belt-less jeans.

Ah yes, it’s football season in St. Louis again.

—–

Danny Amendola was one of ninety-seven different Rams players that were hurt on Sunday afternoon.  His official diagnosis is a dislocated elbow.  Given the picture below, I’m going to go out on a limb (hey-o, pun alert) and say this isn’t a day-to-day sort of injury.

We wish Danny the best luck in his recovery.  Someone with limited stature and an abundance of speed and whiteness is bound to get signed as a Cardinals 2B eventually.

—–

Rams RB Steven Jackson suffered a game-ending injury during a TD run in the first quarter.  This paved the way for backup RB Cadillac Williams, who accumulated 145 all-purpose yards.  What’s a real shame is that his name isn’t Mustang GT Williams; he’d be a hero in St. Louis.

—–

Arguably, the best thing about another football season is the presence of former Tony Softli from 101ESPN back on the scene.  He has the best fake mustache in the business.

—–

Late Sunday, Joe Strauss from the Post-Dispatch reported that the Cardinals have signed Chris Carpenter to a two-year extension.  Many thought the Cardinals would let Carpenter walk, but the money seems reasonable and the extension makes sense.  It’s clear the organization is trying to secure all of the necessary pieces before selling their soul to Pujols in the off-season.

We’re guessing this K9 relationship is getting a little heated around the water bowl.

—–

On Friday, the Blues announced that David Backes will serve as the team captain this season.  He absorbs the honor previously held by Eric Brewer, who was easily the most despised local athlete since JD Drew.  Now that he’s playing for Tampa Bay and has been relinquished from acclaimed team status, can we finally agree that anything with “Brewer” in the title sucks?  Okay, cool.

—–

They found a collective sense of pride this past weekend, as Marshall Faulk was inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame.  Personnel of the gold and blue that traveled to Canton, Ohio included Kurt Warner, Ricky Proehl, Torry Holt, Isaac Bruce, Mike Martz and Dick Vermeil.  But it also included Rams fans, who were ready and willing to show their support for #28.

Like this woman…

Stay classy, St. Louis.

We’re not naive enough to believe that NFL games are populated with potentially N.A.S.A. candidates, but come on.  The Hall of Fame induction weekend is the pinnacle of the gridiron; the last stop for a selective subset of players that have defined themselves in history.  The ceremonies are courteous, respectable and honorable; a far cry from the boorish jungle that typically surrounds regular-season NFL games.

You couldn’t put away the “WANNA FAULK” jersey for one weekend?  Shameless.

By our calculation, the only jersey that would have been more offensive is “FAULK ME”.  With a #69, of course.

—–

And while the majority of the feedback on the actual pick was positive – both local and nationwide – if fake Robert Quinn gave in to his curiosity and typed in a quick search on the person he is impersonating, it was inevitable that he bumped into some of the negative fringe that exist with virtually all professional sports teams. 

A quick sampling of the critics demonstrated their ability to find ammunition that included his suspension last year for acquiring some free jewelry, the fact that he went to USC even though he didn’t, Quinn’s benign brain tumor and a just a few good old fashioned curse words… 

Maybe that’s explains why, by this morning, Robert Quinn’s fake Twitter account had already been shut down.  We’re starting to feel like an isolated segment of St. Louis fans might not have made a positive impression on the guy pretending to be Robert Quinn.  And we really have no idea how we’re supposed to feel about that. 

We need to go vent on our fake Facebook page.

—

Their version of Albert Pujols contained a touch of Brian Jordan, a splash of 1989 Pedro Guerrero and, lets face it, could pull thousands of dollars if it was peeled off the wall and sold.  So what will you see when you look across the room and notice that Kurt Warner is also on this watercolor Mt. Rushmore?

Rather than commit to just a portrait of Kurt Warner, our theory is that the artist elected to accentuate the impact that Warner had on Rams football by bringing in a subtle reminder of who manned the starting quarterback spot the year before…

Bring a hint of Tony Banks into the equation and suddenly we’ve never seen a painting of Kurt Warner that we’ve had such an intense connection to. 

Just don’t ask us why the guy in the mural is carrying a Rugby ball.

—

The news about Bradford’s dome is due to a combination of both, yet, we don’t recall such fervor over Kurt Warner’s buzz cut.  In fact, we remember his wife’s buzz cut more vividly.  Nevertheless, Sam Bradford got a haircut and people care, dammit.

KSDK made sure they were on top of this miraculous event in St. Louis sports history.  Cameras captured the buzzing of Bradford’s lustrous locks (+2 blogging points for solid alliteration), and Rene Knott drove home the narrative.  It was a seamless story, except for one curious detail.

KSDK labeled this segment “New Rooftop”?

Interesting.

Actually, we’re surprised KSDK didn’t integrate a strategic John Beal Roofing advertisement into the mix as much as  local news stations throw them down our throats during/after major storms.

—–

email: matt@joesportsfan.com
tweet: @MattSebek