The rest of the card features the infamous Rally Squirrel – which gained notoriety during the Cardinals ’11 postseason run.

The card has taken some serious criticism across baseball (some by Schumaker himself), but we’re indifferent.  On one hand, this is an obvious publicity stunt since Topps has been looking for ways to remain relevant since 1990.  On the other hand, St. Louis no longer owns the most absurd celebration of that damn vermin.

According to Beckett, this particular card will be a “short-print”, making it more valuable for collectors  (i.e., grown men who enjoy hustling kids at trade shows).   Schumaker can find comfort in the fact that the majority of his “full-print” cards will feature his face.

But for now, he has to endure the wrath of the squirrel.  But he’s not the only Cardinals player that was short-changed on a piece of Topps cardboard in their 2012 run.  That’s because the Rally Squirrel wasn’t the only notable pest to squirm across Busch Stadium last year.  Our staff at JoeSportsFan was able to track down the OTHER Cardinals Topps baseball card that will be released in limited quantities.

That’s Lance Berkman’s shoes, in the upper right.  The primary focus is on our infamous bare-footed Busch Stadium Field Rusher.

Now that’s a baseball card.

Now, maybe manager, pitching coach and All Star first baseman didn’t exactly align with your Monster.com résumé.  No worries.  May we suggest something a tier down on the professional baseball hierarchy.

St. Louis Cardinals bat boy.

That’s right, the Cardinals are currently looking for a new equipment wrangler.  If you think you have what it takes to wear your first name on a jersey twenty years after Tee Ball, then this is the position for you.

Personally, we like the line about “special” assignments from the Team Manager.  This kid is soooo fetching dead ducks on hunting trips with Mike Matheny and John Mabry.

We also like that being an “outstanding student” is a necessary qualification.  Right, because a passing grade in Chemistry directly relates to excellence in Gatorade powder mixing.  We also enjoy that there’s an minimum age requirement….but no maximum.

[MLB Team Jobs]

The past two years, we’ve been keeping out eye on the local hex of “Alive Magazine“.

Here are the last two Cardinals to appear on the cover.

Now, allow us to recap.

In June 2010, David Freese appeared on the cover of Alive Magazine as the figurehead of their annual “Hot List”.  Four days after the magazine hit local newsstands Freese was put on the 15-day DL after bruising a bone in his right ankle.  Then, during a rehab workout, Freese dropped a weight on his left-foot – at which point, he thought, “Eh, might as well have season-ending ankle surgery.”

Coincidence?  Nope.  Last year, Alive Magazine thought Matt Holliday was totally “Hot List” worthy and slapped him on the cover of their May 25th issue.  Less than a week later, Holliday was sent to the DL after tweaking his quad.  He missed over two weeks in a season bridled with odd injuries.

Apparently, Alive Magazine hasn’t learned from their bad magazine mojo because they popped David Freese on ANOTHER cover.

Damn you, Alive Magazine.

The World Series MVP has appeared everywhere from the Ellen Degeneres Show to the Country Music Awards this off-season, but this is too much.  Not Alive Magazine.  Anything but Alive Magazine.  There are unpreventable consequences at stake here.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Given that the aforementioned is false, we’re guessing that the card shown above is Photoshopped.  Shocking and a little disappointing, we know.  It’s a little like finding out that Steve Savard isn’t a cyborg.

Yet, in this obsessive culture of being FIRST! at everything, fictional baseball cards are just a part of the industry.  But we say, if you’re going to be completely ridiculous with creating events that never happened, you might as well go completely off the reservation.

Rally Mongey.

If the Angels start selling Pujols Rally Mongeys, we may have to start rooting for #5 in a Los Angeles jersey.  Or, at the very least, for him not to rupture an achilles during Spring Training.

Let’s start there.

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While Cardinal fans and media pondered options, it appeared that Beltran himself was undecided the night before his scheduled appearance.

Then again, maybe Beltran was deciding whether or not to take Edgar Renteria, Gary Gaetti, Brendan Ryan, Kiko Calero and Trever Miller to the “LOST” island.  Take note: if we ever have a chance to cross-reference Cardinal jersey numbers and LOST, we’re going to take it every time.

Anyway, Beltran ultimately decided to go with the #3.

The majority of fans were excited about Beltran’s choice because your best players (really, in any sport) typically wear single-digit numbers (editor’s note: not including JD Drew).  Nevertheless, we strongly opposed this choice.

Why?

Well, let’s take a gander at the last seven (read: SEVEN!!) Cardinals to wear the #3.

Sure, both Theriot and Preston Wilson won World Championships with their respective clubs, but the #3 has been an island of misfit toys since Edgar Renteria left for greener pastures after making the last out in the ’04 World Series.

In six season with the Cardinals, Renteria amassed 903 games played with the Cardinals.  Since he bolted, the stumps seen above have played a total of 678 games over seven seasons in the #3 uniform.

We don’t wish mediocrity upon Carlos Beltran, but he’s been warned.

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The event aims for structure.  Fans file in through a common entrance.  As do the media.  Everything is on a schedule; from main stage presentations to player autograph and photo sessions.  But things change.  On Saturday, it was announced that fan-favorite Yadier Molina would not be appearing this year, despite selling out of the event’s second-highest priced autograph ticket.

Thus, organizers have to adapt.  They have to please.  Announcements must be made.  And what better way to remain agile than a giant whiteboard?

In the past, we suggested that the absence of Tony La Russa and Albert Pujols would bring a renewed sense of honesty and transparency to the Cardinals organization.

We just didn’t think it would come this soon.  Or, at least via Dry Erase markers.

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It’s been awhile since the Cardinals had a strong cast of young, entertaining and performant players on their roster.  The Cardinals 2012 roster is primed with these types of personalities.  Allen Craig, Daniel Descalso and David Freese, to name a few, fit this mold.  They regularly interact with fans, joke with the media and engage in public forums like Twitter.

Although, this bi-directional communication with the public has its disadvantages.  Case in point: what transpired Wednesday afternoon via Twitter.

We can neither confirm nor deny if @zummy66 chuckled like Dr. Evil after sending the above tweet to the 2011 World Series MVP, but we know one thing: this type of behavior needs to stop.  Sure, David Freese politely responded and provided clarity that the wings at Mulligan’s Grill in Ellisville are actually quite tasty.  But that’s because David Freese is a nice guy.  We’re less courteous.

Let’s all agree; right here, right now.

Notifying any human being, famous athlete or not…after they’ve consumed food that you’ve prepared in a public restaurant…is a little creepy.

On the scale of most egregious Twitter behavior, it’s slightly ahead of asking an athlete for tickets…but below asking an athlete to retweet you on your birthday.  Those people need to not have any more birthdays.

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Oh, and the Rams. Hey, they’re still in St. Louis. At least, that’s what league sources are telling us.

This cornucopia of local athletic excellence means one thing: an evolution of weirdo fans.

It’s a proven fact: when subjects on the field succeed, their counterparts off the field raise their game exponentially.  Higher levels of intoxication, more egregious costumes, increased willingness to be photographed.  Thankfully, our dedicated staff of fan hunters were there throughout the year to capture the action.

And thus, we present our Top Twenty-Five from 2011.

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#25: Albert Pujols Cubs Fan

We begin with this fan because he helped set the tone for arguably the biggest St. Louis sports story of 2011.  Namely, that Albert Pujols wasn’t going to be a member of the Cardinals forever.  While Pujols didn’t end up in the Windy City, it set mood of perpetual nervousness and bittersweet success in St. Louis.

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#24: The Pujols Family

Just to be clear: our fan hunters raised their game this year.  It’s no longer about finding the most inebriated monkey in any given stadium.  Okay, fine.  It’s still about that….but our staff is getting more creative; more artsy.  Here’s a photo that is pure ingenuity, especially knowing what we know now.  Anyone from the Cardinals ticket office that tells you that they’re not concerned about the departure of Albert Pujols is lying to your face.

Something tells us that Christmas dinner at this household was a little somber this holiday season.

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#23: 10 (er, um 11) World Championships!!!

Before the eventual loss of that one Latino first-baseman, the Cardinals beat historically-insurmountable odds to not only reach the postseason, but win it.  Needless to say, no one thought that 2011 would be the year that the Cardinals won their franchise’s 11th World Championship.  Especially the clown below.  But hey, that’s nothing a little electrical tape from the garage can’t solve.  Boom.  11 World Championships now, kids.  Bet you didn’t even notice.  If a surrounding inhabitant suddenly needs to wrap and insulate a frayed power cord, this guy will have a serious decision on his hands.  Assist or keep his handiwork in tact.  Tough call.

We apologize for the graininess of the photo.  We send our fan hunters into the harshest condition to deliver you the madness.

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#22: Red Suit “Man”

Our fan hunters didn’t invest the necessary research to determine the gender of this fan, but he/she/it caught our cameras before Game 6 of the World Series. Shim makes this particular list specifically because we think that stuffing a pair of eyeglasses underneath a suit that is supposed to be razor-smooth is comical. The only thing more humorous would have been eyeglasses strapped to the outside of the costume.

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#21: Fear the RED DOG

It’s nice to see that the Number 69 is still a viable jersey option in 2011.  And here we thought its hilarity intersected for a brief moment in history with “Beavis and Butthead” and “Billy Madison.”  Apparently, we were wrong.  It’s still hilarious.  At least it is to a local hooligan who goes as “RED DOG”.  Our sources could not confirm nor deny that this was actually Mark McGwire, but one thing is for sure, fear was struck in the eyes of a Busch Stadium attendant one early morning in April.

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#20: PARTY MARTY

Football hooligans often use personalized jerseys as a billboard to show how they’re the life of the party. This is certainly true for PARTY MARTY, who not only has a personalized jersey with his (self-appointed) nickname on the back, but an inscribed hat with the same moniker.  True fan.  Oh, and of course, he’s assigned himself the number one.  Party Marty is also waiting to pay $20 for a photograph with Kyle Turley.

We desperately long for a wrestling match between Party Marty and REDDOG.  Chairs, pipes, biting, whatever.

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#19: You Are Sooooooo Taguchi

If you’re blowing money on a #99 jersey that doesn’t involve Rick Vaughn, there’s no reason to ignore a joke that approximately 89% of Cardinals fans broke out at some point or another during Soooooo Taguchi’s career in St. Louis.

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18: Scott Rolen Hater

Typically, duct tape on a jersey involves modifying an old player’s name to satisfy the current jersey number inhabitant.  While it’s highly irreverent to the old player, it’s also a swift kick to the ego of the new player that the modified jersey exhibits.  You know, since said “new player” isn’t worthy enough (yet) to merit the purchasing of a real jersey.

Sitting on the third-base line with the Cincinnati Reds and Scott Rolen in September, the gentleman below brought the heat.  He didn’t leverage duct tape to sport a makeshift Tyler Greene or Ron Villone jersey (the only two Cardinal players to wear #27 since Rolen’s departure).  No, sir.  He went old school, so as to tell the former Cardinals All-Star that he always preferred Todd Zeile’s tenure in St. Louis.  Todd Zeile is THE #27, Mr. Rolen.  Not you.  Brilliance.

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#17: Jesus is #1

The excitement at the Cardinals World Series Parade reached a critical mass. Local fans have been waiting a lifetime for an event of this magnitude. That is, fans under the age of five. Hey-oooo!! Chicago Cubs fan zing. Anyway, we’re not big fans of religious activists because they’re usually looking for trouble, but this fan sign is just tremendous. Our scouts tell us Jesus had one heck of a curveball.

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#16: The Least Creative Blues Jersey Ever

Due an undying affinity to poke fun at hooligans and buffoons (especially at hockey game), we tend to overlook jerseys that are simplistically stupid. That is, until we noticed the following fellow nitwit at Scottrade Center in October.

The last name: BLUES. The number: um, one. You know, because the Blues are #1. Or #5 in the Western Conference. But hey, that’s a little long to fit on a jersey nameplate.  We deduct more points for violating the sanctity of #1.  On the hockey side, that’s reserved for Pat Jablonski and Pat Jablonski only.

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#15: Bleacher Bum Art

A shirtless man…with a skullet…sitting in the last row of the Busch Stadium bleachers….slugging a Budweiser…wrapped in a brought-from-home bottle koozie?  You know, not all of our favorite fan photos feature a crazed lunatic in a ridiculous jersey.  Oh, no.  This one should be classified as “art.”  Poster-sized prints on canvas should be made available immediately.  Hang this sucker above the fireplace.

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#14: Another La Russa Sobriety Fan

Arguably, the most infamous fan jersey we’ve posted at JoeSportsFan.com is the LARUSSA #.093 jersey that was captured at Busch Stadium in 2007 a few weeks after the Cardinals skipper was dinged for a DUI in Spring Training. The jersey accumulated quite a few laughs at the time, but granted, the news was fresh. More than four years later, another fan at Busch Stadium apparently believes the joke still has legs.

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#13: Fredbird’s biggest fan

We’re big fans of mullets because they typically reside on Bon Jovi roadies, carnival ride operators and St. Louis sports fans.  All unintentionally-hilarious individuals.  Now, this  hairdo is usually accompanied with a bold attitude.  Thus, when we see a party-in-the-back touching the shoulders of a Cardinals jersey, we expect it to complement the edgy disposition.  Fredbird?  Pardon our pun, but he’s the softest creature in the stadium.

This jersey is extra offensive since Fredbird doesn’t wear the Number One, or any number for that matter.  Besides, the Number One is retired and unavailable.  It belongs to Ozzie, not some grown man dressed as a bird.

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#12: Dave, bro. Dave.

2011 saw U2 playing live on the field of Busch Stadium in mid-July. But let us not forgot those that have come before Bono and the boys. The gentleman below certainly hasn’t. Although, we may be jumping to conclusions here. The rationalist in us postulates that this guy bought a personalized Dave Matthews Band jersey when they came to Busch Stadium in 2008. DMB + Busch Stadium = Cardinals jersey. Then again, who the hell knows. One thing is for sure, this guy really likes the Dave Matthews Band and the song “#41“.

Or maybe his initials are “DMB” and he really likes Mitchell Boggs. Either way, we’re guessing this guy would challenge you to a timed keg-stand immediately.

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#11: Joe Namath Rams Fan

The Cardinals World Series parade brought fanatics out of the woodwork. The levels of obscurity were almost tough to comprehend. We saw a Spiezio jersey. A Joe Mather. Heck, even a Tom Brunanski. But the most random jersey we saw wasn’t a Cardinals jersey at all.  It was a Joe Namath Rams jersey.  A Joe Namath Rams jersey at a St. Louis Cardinals World Series parade. Yikes. Namath played one season (of thirteen) for the LOS ANGELES Rams.  Joe Namath is a New York Jet.  Period.

That’s like wearing a Tino Martinez Cardinals jersey to a New York Giants Super Bowl parade.

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#10: Louie’s Number One Fan

Generally speaking, mascots scare the bejesus out of us.  They’re overly animated, abrasive and rarely wear pants.  That behavior outside of a fur suit will land you a night in the slammer.  Nevertheless, we accept that kids love mascots.  Photographs, high-fives, hugs: all acceptable.  A personalized jersey: yeah, a little bizarre.  This particular mascot jersey beats FREDBIRD at #13 on our rankings because it’s complemented by a signature from that mascot.

It’s even MORE bizarre when said fan is accompanied by a man wearing a replica jersey from TJ Oshie’s COLLEGE career at North Dakota.

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#9: Four Twenty

Not to be outdone by the Dave Matthews Band bro above, this renaissance man explicitly announced to the world “I like marijuana” through a customized Cardinals jersey. Interesting. Also interesting: there’s about a 92% chance that this is actually Jeff Weaver.

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#8: Ole Rust

There’s only one event that can match the weirdos per capita of a Cardinals World Series Parade: the annual Winter Warm-up. With Busch Stadium sitting dormant in the January frost, Winter Warm-up is tremendous opportunity for fans to show their support for the home team.  Since fans won’t break out their Cardinals gear for another for three months, they tend to go a little nutty. That is, with their attire.  Or, in Rust’s case, with their hairdos.

Added weirdo bonus: the last player to wear #73: Ricardo Rincon.  But we’re guessing #73 is an homage to Rust’s high rank in World of Warcraft.

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#7: Bradford Duct Tape

Despite a mediocre ’11 season bridled with injuries, there was significant hype surrounding Sam Bradford’s rookie season as the Rams quarterback. He led the Rams to a 7-9 record, smiled a lot and signed a big contract to endorse Charter before his team played their first game in 2011. But some fans weren’t totally convinced. At least, not enough to fork over $100 bucks for a Sam Bradford jersey. Instead, this woman turned an old Torry Holt jersey into a Sam Bradford jersey with a little assistance from a trusty roll of duct tape.

Is there anything duct tape can’t do (except hold together the Rams offensive line, of course)?

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#6: Paul Kariya Blues/Ducks Fan

The St. Louis Blues have delivered some excitement this season. Given the past few season of over-promising, most fans and media had their doubts. Veteran leadership crumbled. Young talent faltered and was injured frequently. Fans were looking for a player to embrace in 2011.  And what better player to embrace than one that announced his retirement before the Blues season even began this year.

And heck, because his time in St. Louis was subpar, you sure as hell better split that jersey down the middle to support said player’s time with a franchise named after a Disney movie.

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#5: YOUR NAME

Generic team jerseys exist in every baseball merchandise shop across the country. Likewise, on graphical advertisements at MLB online outlets. They exist as a call-to-action; to let fans know that personalization is an option. But we’ve never seen these jerseys in the wild. That is, before this year. We suppose the real loser here is the store-front mannequin that stood momentarily naked in some merchandise store.

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#4: ANGEL #69

Needless to say, the St. Louis Rams didn’t live up to expectations in 2011. Ironically, that failure is impressive considering it’s hard to have any expectations following a 1-15 and a 7-9 season. Nevertheless, a pre-season pep rally is a time for fans to show up and celebrate a clean slate. A rebirth of optimism, if you will.  Apparently, it’s also time to proudly display your “Angel #69″ jersey.  With kids.  Classy.

And who says #69 jerseys are for overweight fraternity meatheads?  This woman is real activist.  The Number 69 is a unisex jersey option.

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#3: Hull and Oates, Together Again

Brett Hull and Adam Oates are synonymous in St. Louis. They go together like Busch Stadium and the Clydesdales or Fox Sports Midwest and toupees. Needless to say, when we saw a man wearing a HULL jersey and a woman wearing an OATES jersey, our heart skipped a beat. True love is possible these days, kids.

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#2: BUTJOLS

Yes yes, the jersey is combination of Kansas City’s “BUTLER” and St. Louis’ “PUJOLS” and describes something of the nether region.  Hilarious.  But seriously, the patchwork.  It looks like this guy constructed this product with a Swiss Army knife and a few safety pins.  The two MLB logos on the collar are a nice touch.

More importantly, we’d like to point out that this gentleman appears to be an otherwise upstanding citizen (minus the jersey and all).  His hair is trimmed and his jersey is belted tightly into a pair of khakis.  We love raw meatheads, but this juxtaposition of normal/abnormal is fascinating.  Let’s say he’s an otherwise regular dude.  Regular dudes have jobs, and thus, bosses.  Let’s say Regular Dude takes a trip to the urinal and runs into said boss at the concession stand.  How does that discussion go?  What if boss is with spouse?  How does that introduction go?  Is this event noted on Regular Dude’s annual review?  These are the things we think about at night.

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#1: Chris Sabo Cardinals Fan

We’ve seen just about every jersey out there. The retro, the personal, the obscene. And the really obscene.  Lately, our preference is with the obscure.  Really obscure.  As such, we’re often asked what obscure Cardinals jersey has eluded our fan hunters.

The answer is simple: Chris Sabo.

Sure, his career in St. Louis only spanned a few games, but the man is a cult hero and we were proud to call him one of our own for a brief period in baseball history. Thus, you can imagine our amazement when a (St. Louis) Chris Sabo fan….with complementary REC SPECS…wandered in front of our lens this summer. Our bucket list got a little thinner that day.

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We’re going to comply with this internet mandate and provide a one-stop-shop for some of our best Photoshop cartoons from the past twelve months.  There’s no particular order below.  Some were the most-viewed, some were the most-bizarre.  Okay, fine.  They’ll all pretty damn bizarre.

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Even before the Cardinals negotiations with Albert Pujols halted in Spring Training, things weren’t pointing in a positive direction.  With most baseball news sitting dormant in January of 2011, Albert Pujols re-branded himself and his personal website.  The resulting logo featured many similar aspects of another hero that left his home town in the dust.

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One word become synonymous with the 2011 St. Louis sports year: Albertageddon.  Origins date back to the first week of Spring Training in March and a word with that much passion and intrigue needed a movie poster to highlight some of the key players.

And, you see, St. Louis.  We didn’t die.

Just like Ben Affleck; he survived.

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Following the first round of Albert Pujols negotiations/dryhump, we put together a collection of our favorite Pujols fans for a festive Opening Day desktop wallpaper.

Perhaps the biggest surprise in the whole Pujols/Anaheim thing is that, somehow, all of these jerseys are even more ridiculous than they were in March.  We’re not sure how that’s possible.

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Former Cardinals, um, “pitcher”, Mark Mulder joined the ESPN “Baseball Tonight” staff as Spring Training drew to a close.  By all accounts, he’s a tremendous addition to their team, however, we’re told that ESPN’s budget for ice and compression sleeves went up 550% since he joined.

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With a new rotation of crappy local commercials for the new Cardinals season on Fox Sports Midwest, we bid farewell to some familiar favorites.  This included the Sonic commercial featuring Rick Horton and future World Series MVP David Freese.

Even though the commercial sits dormant, Ricky still gets a kick out of Fredbird.

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With Nick Punto, Skip Schumaker, Ryan Theriot, Daniel Descalso and approximately fifteen other small white guys that visited the Cardinals roster throughout the year, we introduced official “Scrap-e-grams”.  Scrap-e-grams should be printed out (on recycled paper, obviously) are given out to fellow friends and family that have demonstrated hard work and courage in the face of adversity.

More scrap-e-grams here, here and here.

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The annual series against the Kansas City Royals is always a blast because it provides a legitimate excuse to make a plethora of 1985 references.  Mixed with a solid reference to “Oregon Trail“, this was one of our favorites this season.

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References to the 1985 Cardinals usually involve screen caps from the epic “Heck of Year”.  A real piece of cinematic brilliance, there.  We’ve seen the film over 1000 times, but we don’t remember Jack Clark saying that.  Hmm, guess we’ll have to watch it again.  And again.

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Fact: when Albert Pujols trots home after a game-winning blast, he imagines being surrounded by 24 other Albert Pujolses (we’re not sure if that’s the correct plural form of “Pujols”, but we’re running with it).

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Being a sports journalist is tough work.  It takes patience, dedication and an eye for detail.  Derrick Goold is one of the best in the business and demonstrated his unparalleled chameleon abilities during a mid-June clubhouse interview Matt Holliday.

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This season we also introduced “Hybrid Cardinals Baseball Cards”.  Yeah, things got a little weird this year.  Nevertheless, the collection included a mash-up of Skip Schumaker and Mark McGwire – which unlocked the inspiration for 1987′s film “Harry and the Henderson”.

More hybrid baseball cards here, here, here and here.

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Franky, this one needs very little introduction.

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Yadier Molina went a little nutty in an August game against the Milwaukee Brewers.  The nuttiness featured Molina yelling/spitting in the face of umpire Rob Drake in the 10th inning and resulted in an eventual suspension for the Cardinals catcher.

Spit + baseball + over-reactions + “guy named Drake” = a Seinfeld inspired Photoshop.

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August 22nd was Matt Holliday Bobblehead Day at Busch Stadium.  Like most Bobbleheads, it looked nothing like its human counterpart and left something to be desired.   We conceptualized what it should have looked like.

A updated copy of this graphic would inevitably include a moth in Holliday’s right ear.  And probably another Creed reference.

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“Beast Mode” became the mantra of the 2011 Milwaukee Brewers.  Even before the Cardinals extinguished them from the 2011 playoffs, we outed this slogan as fraudulent.  Hey, it’s what we do.  Other writers around town are breaking news about contracts, trades and injuries.  Our efforts are in demonstrating phony Pixar movie references.  Everyone has their place in this industry.

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The World Series provided its own highlight reel of memories, but we need not forget about the six-game NLCS against the Milwaukee Brewers – which was filled with the most postseason hatred since 1987′s series against Jeffrey Leonard and the San Francisco Giants.

When it ended, Yadier Molina provided us with a photo that simply could not be left untouched.

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Our favorite thing about football season in St. Louis is Tony Softli, an analyst for 101 ESPN.  He’s also the former VP of Player Personnel with the Rams, but frankly, we enjoyed him in “Toy Story 2″ the most.

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Following the Cardinals 11th World Series in franchise history, the rumor mill heated up (again) regarding Albert Pujols’ contract status.  As it turns out, no one really knew anything until the Angels entered the bidding roughly 24 hours before signing Pujols.  Before that, it was a cornucopia of heresy and speculation.

To make the “news” a little less nauseating, we created an exclusive BINGO card.  Unfortunately, there were no winners.  We were all losers through this mess.

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So, the St. Louis Rams.  What can you say about a franchise that has gone 9-37 the past three seasons?  As it turns out, not much – which is why we created the following motivational poster.

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Albert Pujols’ departure was tough on a lot of people, but no more than Yadier Molina.  As a touching parting gift that left several clubhouse observers in tears, Molina presented Pujols with this special gift.

Hand-made sentiments are always the best.  Especially when they’re made with bubble paint.

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Albert Pujols career in St. Louis will forever be remembered for two World Championships, three National League MVP trophies and a countless number of Jose Oquendo stop signs ignored.

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A majority of the proceeds are derived from autograph tickets sold to Cardinals fans.  With Busch Stadium sitting dormant in the January frost, Winter Warm-up is tremendous opportunity for fans in the red-and-white to get up close and personal with their favorite players.  Shake their hand, take a photo, grab an autograph and explain how you intend to snatch them early in this year’s fantasy baseball draft.  You know, important things like that.

But, this access comes at a price.  Last year, we compiled some historical trends of autograph prices since 2008.   With some notable names (ahem) gone and some new faces in the mix this year, we’ve updated last year’s graphic to show some of the most interesting price fluctuations.

Now, If you haven’t heard, Albert Pujols will not be signing autographs at the Winter Warm-up this year.  But that’s okay.  For the past four years, he’s been the priciest ticket at $175.  Don’t blame the Cardinals, though; God sets his rates.  In addition to the personas listed above, there are some bargain buys available, so let’s take a look at what you can get for $175 at this year’s festivities.

The “Fill the Superstar Void” Package ($175)
- Lance Berkman: $100
- Matt Holliday: $75

The “Politely Ask These Guys for Pujols’ Autograph” Package ($175)
- Yadier Molina: $75
- Tony La Russa: $40
- Rafael Furcal: $30
- Rafael Furcal (ask again): $30

The “Remember the Good Old Days” Package ($175)
- Whitey Herzog: $75
- Red Schoendienst: $75
- Mike Shannon: $10
- Jack Clark: $5
- Ray Lankford: $5
- Kyle Lohse (he’ll be out of baseball by June): $5

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